Sunday, July 14, 2013


Saying Goodbye

Life is full of good-byes, and I've had more than my share for sure.  I said goodbye to my mom when I was 17, my sister when I was 36 and my dad at 38.  On June 27th, we said goodbye to a beloved family pet.  Her name was Lady and she was a part of our family for 16 years.  She was more than a good dog, she was the best.  Smart, playful, obedient and patient...she was all those things and more.  She will be missed by everyone who knew her, especially by our other dog Josie. Josie is lost without her and is not the same dog as she was before. Time will heal her as it will us. We will never forget her, she gave us many good years and much love.

Living with RA (if that is even what I have) has forced me to say many good-byes.  I have had to say goodbye to my lifestyle.  I used to like to get together with friends on the weekends with my hubby and have a few drinks and even more laughs.  Now, I am so exhausted from working all week that all I end up doing on the weekend is sleeping mostly.  I've had to say goodbye to keeping my house clean, which really bugs the crap out of me.  I still do a lot around here, but nothing like I used to.  For the first time this year I did not take my curtains down and wash them or get all the windows washed.  I'm sure most of you can identify with that.  I know a lot of people have it much worse than me and are unable to work at all.  I am lucky, but sometimes I must admit I have a pity party for one and let the tears fall.  

Basically I've had to say goodbye to who I was.  It sucks.  I used to be a fun person and now I just want to stay home and rest all the time.  My hubby and I barely do anything together any more.  I just don't feel up to going anywhere most of the time.  He has had to say goodbye to who is wife was.  Hopefully, the doctors will find the right meds for me and I will begin again to resemble the person I once was.

I hope everyone had a terrific Fourth of July! I did go down to our park and watch the fireworks.  They were absolutely fantastic.  My hometown usually doesn't disappoint in that area. I hope you all had a chance to enjoy some beauty this summer.

Gentle Hugs!

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